Over chocolate croissant and Mr Bean

Still not going home yet? I don't usually work here. I get deployed here and there whenever there isn't enough people. At times I get sent to Mount Elizabeth. Work is better there as we get to rest occasionally. Here it isn't that easy. 

It's not exactly very tiring or hard. We just need the right mentality. We work from as early as seven in the morning till nine at night. The moment we've decided to work here we have expected it to be this way. So there shouldn't be any complain. Why complain when you knew what you are in for from the start. 

Yes I am married. I am married with one kid. A daughter. Nah, not another kid. Not because I find them troublesome. With just one daughter, I've to work in Singapore. With one more, I would perhaps need to be in the States! I give her everything I can. She is now learning how to play musical instruments. I'm hoping to be able to buy her a piano so she can play that. The house I bought is about thirty thousand dollars. A piano will cost me one third of what I paid for my house. But I know I will work hard to get that piano for her. Since young she has been talented and she will negotiate terms with me to get something she wants. There was once when she wanted a skateboard because other kids have it. So I made a deal with her, that I'll get her that skateboard she wanted if she can score a hundred in her next examination. She said deal. She made it, she scored full marks and nothing less. I told my love to bring her to the store and get her whichever skateboard she desires. 

My wife is stricter with her. I am the more mild tempered one. I will talk to her nicely. I don't believe in pushing a child to study or doing something she doesn't like. I believe in positive encouragement. That way, they will grow. 

No, I am not sacrificial. I just think I should give her all I can while I am still able, while she still needs it. Someday she is going to grow up and someday she will leave. Someday I will be too old to work, someday she wouldn't need me. It would have been to late to provide for her anymore then. Without money, I will not be able to give her the opportunities for a better life. As long as I am able, that's what I'm going to do. To provide for her. 

Do I miss her? No. I've gotten that out of my system. Shouldn't it be this way? To focus on what you should do and to put aside the emotional aspects. One should not be distracted otherwise you will be torn between two things and excel in neither. That will defeat the purpose. The moment I boarded the plane to Singapore, I knew what I'm leaving for, and leaving behind in expense. My focus is money, for my daughter and a better future for her while I am still able. When you have a goal in life, pursue it with all you have, and you will have no regrets. Once I've saved up enough money, then I can fully enjoy spending time with my family. Perhaps in three to five years time. 

Are you married? Ah.. Why aren't you married yet? Singaporeans are married too late! They are picky. Let me tell you why it is good to be married young. Men may look at a girl and say 'This pretty lady seems like a pleasant person but not married yet. There must be something wrong with her!' 

Ah.. I see.. I do agree with you totally. Fate is really important. There is no point committing or pursuing it if fate isn't at your side. Everything boils down to fate. I was engaged at a tender age of nineteen and I only got married when I turned twenty five. No no, not to the same woman. Haha. If I had been married at nineteen, things may have turned out otherwise. Instead of being here, I could be back in China plowing fields. Everything happens for a reason and it is fated. I do agree with you on that. 

No, I'm not different or anything like that. I believe all parents show their love for their child differently. Be filial and treat your parents well while you are still able. Be forgiving when they get mad at you as they are in a bad mood. They don't mean it. Every parent love their child despite the different manner of displaying it. Bottom line is, there are no parents who doesn't love their child. So be filial while you have the chance to. 

Well I guess this should be it for now. To tell you all that has happened in my life, all the things I have gone through, will take more than three days and three nights. Haha. 

Miss, what do you like to eat? Perhaps one day I can make something for you to try. Are you working tomorrow? Alright perhaps tomorrow then.. I can make something tonight and treat you tomorrow.. Ok see you, bye bye.. I have to get back to cleaning now.. 

When mommy gets home, mommy's gonna get you a whole packet of cranberries.. this time, you can have the whole thing to yourself.. you know mommy never wanted this to happen and you are one of the best things in the whole world for me.. I am sorry baby.. I wish I was there to make it all better.. to kiss you and hold you and hopefully it wasn't all that scary.. I can only imagine how painful and fearful you were.. I am sorry.. Pebble, mommy is so sorry.. you are one of the things I love most in my whole life..

Small Talk

It was rather unusual to walk out of the hospital to find the sky so cloudy with hints of rain; but there was none. It is the same with my neghbourhood. The wind was really strong and I was contemplating just hanging around the playground. It is not everyday that the wind is so strong, the sky so cloudy with no rain, no drizzle. So I checked on the mailbox and took the stack of letters to the playground, found a place and sat down. I was just listening to some old songs while flipping through the many useless mails. Suddenly, in the midst of all the flippings, music and children screaming, I thought I heard someone talking to me.
''The sky is so dark but it is not raining. Jie jie do you think it will rain? I have never really thought the sky will be black black when I came out, but no rain''
I turned to my left and saw this little boy, head shaved, big eyes; unmistakably talking to me. I removed my earphone and apologized for not hearing him. Then he repeated his question.

Do you think it will rain?
I don't know actually
When I came down it was dark but usually it isn't.
Where do you stay?
Just nearby. Block 89. My mom is a malay but she is a PR now.
Your mom is a Malaysian, you mean.
Oh yah (embarrassed smile) I always forget. She is Malaysian. She is from this place Simpang something. I cannot remember.
Is it in Johor?
No I don't remember. It is between Thailand and Singapore. I know Thailand is on top, Singapore is at the bottom. My mom is in the center (Haha! So cute)
How old are you? Any siblings?
7 years old. I don't have. Usually I play with the boys who cycle around with me, but now they.. (I couldn't catch his mumbles..)
So do you go to Malaysia often?
I only go to Malaysia when I have time. Last time 6 months once, now its once a year. I have been busy. I sell things now. (He kept looking at this watch that he held in his hands while talking to me..)
What do you sell?
(Looking at the watch again) I only have one minute so I can only tell you very fast, straight to the point.
O.o? Why only 1 minute?
I have to go back at 5.45pm. I also don't know why but.. (mumbles again..). I used to earn 2 dollars every month but for the month of August I earned 5 dollars! (his five fingers all proudly stretched out with a big smile) and that's not including September yet.
But September just started.. (still haven't told me what he is selling yet.. zzz..)
Ya, so I can't count yet.
Do you play here often?
Not everyday. Tomorrow I have cell group. You know cell group? The church thing. Last time I have to go very far away but now we have 3 people in my house for cell group. I design the computer thing (no idea what that meant haha..)
So what is your name?
My name is Wang Jia Cheng (then he started explaining to me how each word is pronounced and all)
Oh! I need to go home now. One minute already! Bye Jie Jie!

Then he ran away so fast, and left me wondering what his business product was. I guess I'll never know.. And soon the rain started pouring.

Sometimes, no matter
how much faith we have,
we lose people.
But you never forget them.
And sometimes,
it's those memories
that give us the strength to go on..

Happy new year!

I will have faith in my own life, instead of putting my faith in someone else's. I think that should be achievable.. 

My heart dropped into my stomach for a while..

Today has got to be the best surprise of 2009 for me!! and it came in Facebook! haha.. =)

It's been a year and I still do miss you.. =) 

I can still remember vividly the way you laughed and the way you get excited at the slightest things.. and the way you would babble incessantly about food you love or places you would've loved to go..  

hugs..